Authentic Charity in an Imperfect World

Jesus was unequivocal in His command that we must love our neighbor. But who is my neighbor? And how do I love them when there are so many, and I have so little to give?

The love Jesus speaks of is agape: a selfless, sacrificial love that actively seeks the good of the other. This form of love requires us to transcend our own desires, making a sincere gift of ourselves to those around us. Yet, as finite human beings, how can we realistically live out this profound command?

While love often grows the more we give it away, our material resources: time, wealth, and energy. They are undeniably limited. This brings us to a practical and often difficult question: how should we best allocate our limited resources to fulfill Christ’s command to love?

Saint Thomas Aquinas offers crucial guidance through the principle of the ordo amoris, the order of love. Contrary to common misunderstandings, this does not mean withholding love from anyone. Rather, it acknowledges that we have varying degrees of responsibility toward different people based on our relationships.

Ordo amoris refers to the natural order of love rooted in justice and relational duty. Saint Augustine adds to this with the concept of ordo caritatis, the order of charity, which emphasizes that our highest and primary love must always be directed toward God. These two principles are not in opposition but in harmony. By loving God above all else, we anchor our hearts rightly, ensuring that all other loves flow from and return to this supreme love.

This order of love means that while we owe universal goodwill to all, we owe special care to those whom God has especially entrusted to us: family, friends, and those in our immediate community. Different bonds and roles bring different obligations. Parents must nourish and protect their children; spouses must support each other with unique fidelity and devotion. It would be unjust, and even harmful. to treat all relationships identically.

Ultimately, it is grace, God’s divine assistance, that enables us to love rightly. God not only commands us to love but also provides the will and strength necessary to fulfill that command. Even when we lack material abundance, we still possess the gift of our time and presence, which we can generously share.

Indeed, love must always be relational rather than transactional. People need more than material support; they deeply require our attention, presence, and sincere concern. Institutions, though helpful, can never substitute for the personal and immediate character of true charity.

We must also remember to treat every person with dignity. Every individual, regardless of their relationship to us, possesses inherent worth and must be valued and respected accordingly. This foundational respect is owed to every person we meet and is central to genuine Christian charity.

This ordering of love is not arbitrary. It flows naturally from the virtues that guide our moral life: prudence, justice, fortitude, and temperance.

• Prudence ensures right judgment, helping us discern wisely whom we can and ought to help, given our circumstances. It enables thoughtful action rather than impulsivity.

• Justice governs our duty to give each person their proper due, recognizing who holds the greatest claim upon our assistance. It includes the obligations clearly articulated by the Fourth Commandment: “Honor your father and your mother.”

• Fortitude allows us to persist courageously in our commitments, even when love is difficult or costly. It provides the strength to give sacrificially.

• Temperance guides us toward moderation and detachment, ensuring we do not selfishly cling to possessions or comfort. It reminds us that our resources are entrusted to us by God for the good of others.

  
  

These virtues not only guide personal decisions but also shape how we understand our responsibility as stewards. We are not absolute owners of what we possess but stewards of gifts entrusted to us. Stewardship means ensuring those closest to us do not suffer deprivation, while extending help to others as circumstances allow. The more we have been given, the greater our responsibility.

Yet we live in a world marred by sin and selfishness, where this ideal of ordered charity often falters. Too often, we attempt to outsource our personal responsibility to governments or institutions. And while such structures can help, they cannot replace the human heart. Love cannot be delegated. It must be lived.

Even amidst imperfection, we are called to personal charity. While we cannot help everyone equally, we must not use this as an excuse to help no one. Guided by ordo amoris, grace, and the virtues, we can love authentically and practically.

In short, authentic Christian love requires wisdom and discernment. We fulfill Christ’s command to love not through vague sentiment, but through concrete, ordered action, generously offered to each according to their due.

Who has God placed in your life right now that you are uniquely called to love? What would it look like to love them well? Not in theory, but today?